Comedian Bill Maher blasted the “scolds” who attempt to place the “problematic” label on certain Halloween costumes, blaming them for taking the fun out of a holiday where people are allowed, and even expected, to be a little irreverent and throw the “rules” out the window.
On his show on Friday night, Maher went through a list of “problematic” Halloween costumes compiled by BuzzFeed, which he renamed “BuzzKill,” and explained that “problematic” had always been the entire point of the night of freedom that came before All Saints’ Day — which he said had been overtaken in recent years by “All Scolds Day.”
“New rule!” Maher began. “If Halloween is too much for your fragile sensibilities and you’re worried about seeing someone wearing something that’s on the forbidden costume list … just stay the f*** home.”
Maher went on to mock the idea of blocking certain irreverent costumes that offend the sensibilities of some, saying, “Every year we go through this bulls–t, lists of costumes you better not wear, lest a night of irreverent dress-up spiral into something that resembles fun.”
“Halloween is supposed to be outrageous! It’s a festival of the sacrilegious, a celebration of the grotesque,” Maher continued, adding, “Yet every year there’s a new list of offensive things we shouldn’t do on the day that’s all about being offensive.”
Rather than canceling the fun of Halloween, Maher said he’d prefer to cancel November “you know what I wanna cancel? November 1st, All Scolds’ Day, when the good people announce which costumes the bad people wore.”
“BuzzFeed, I mean, BuzzKill, has a list of 23 costumes they’re literally begging you not to wear. Of course this year the number one no-no is serial killer cannibal and Netflix sensation Jeffrey Dahmer,” Maher said sarcastically. “EBay has already banned selling it because otherwise it would be impossible to find a blond wig and aviator glasses.”
Maher then quoted a Tweet from Olympic gymnast Simone Biles, which read, “im just gon go head and say it, put the jeffrey dahmer costumes back in the closet. we ain’t having it!!!!!!”
Maher stared for a moment before asking, “Who’s we? What’s with the ‘we’? Who died and made you the great pumpkin?”
“I’m so tired of a handful of emotional hemophiliacs on social media telling us what we can’t do on Halloween. And by the way, please put drugs in my candy,” Maher added.
He went on to read a number of other forbidden costumes from the list, such as Queen Elizabeth II, “because it’s too soon,” “characters outside of your race,” even Elvis. “You can’t dress up as Elvis?” Maher asked. “That’s an entire industry!”
Other costumes on these lists included Johnny Depp, “and of course Amber Heard is out, no s–t,” zombie versions of dead celebrities, “unhoused persons, what we used to call a hobo,” skeletons (for some reason), anything related to the Will Smith Oscars slap, transphobic costumes, any celebrity accused of pedophilia “and nothing related to vaccines or COVID or monkeypox.”
“Have fun kids, and let your imaginations soar,” he mocked, adding, “Can I tell you something, kids? These are *all* great costumes. Listen to me, I’m your last connection to fun,” and even suggested combining costumes, such as “Will Smith smacking a hobo.”
“For f—’s sake, it’s Halloween — which is not just a fun holiday, it’s a necessary psychic release,” he added.
Maher concluded by showing off his own Halloween costume, a Generation Z scold complete with multiple masks and face shield, “my Klonopin to take the edge off, my Adderall to put it back on,” a participation trophy, cat ear headphones, the leash for his emotional support animal, a “F— the Patriarchy” T-shirt, and “a check from the patriarchy to pay my car insurance” and the stick “that goes up my ass.”
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